Thank You

Can't remember why I did this in the first place.
I can't remember why I chose this path.
But if it had been with anyone else,
I know I would have surely collapsed.

Not from sickness,
Nor from love.
But defeat and weakness
Would send me above.
Above the limit,
The boiling point.
The place I'm ashamed to go.
Where all I do is sacrifice.
And my life is one huge "no".

So I guess what I want to do
Is thank you for saving me.
You'll never realize what an impact you've made.
And how lucky she'll always be.

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Believe It

You  believe in me

In your eyes I see

There's more than meets the eye

You can do it if you just try

I'm always here, you know

For whatever is in tow

We can have it all

Catch each other when we fall

It will come in time

Just listen to the chimes

Of the earth around you

And you will see it through

Closed For Now

Seeing you again

Brought back all the feelings

All the memories

All the pain

But still you sit there

Not saying a word

When deep down you know

Your actions hurt me like a sword

I only saw you for her

And still I needed support

So I had him talk for me

I never let out a whisper

Say what you want and tell who you must

But these things you do, they fade my trust

I've given you too many chances

I'm sick of your apologies

Your money is no good to me

I've locked up my heart and thrown out the key

Hell Is The Psychiatrist

Why do you keep poking at me?

It doesn't help your case.

Trying to block the images I see,

These memories won't erase.

I remember that day so well,

Strange people made us talk.

Then they took him away from us,

Not guilty, the door was locked.

That day was so many years ago,

But in my mind it stays.

What you did was wrong, you know.

You were wrong in so many ways.

You lied and said we had to go,

No one knowing I was there.

So I went, feeling so low,

And you without a care.

First Sight (old)

"Maybe someday."

She calls to him.

"Please don't leave."

He reels her in.

He traces his finger around her lips,

Her knees buckle and go weak.

She clutches him and fights for words,

But all that comes out is a squeak.

He asks her to come with him,

But again she cannot speak.

They walk to a wooden bench in the park,

As they sit, there is a slight creek.

Her skin feels so soft,

His smile can't be beat.

He pulls her closer,

As if they didn't just meet.

The passion is overwhelming,

The kisses are so sweet.

They are soon out of breath,

In the evening summer heat.

He asks when he will see her again.

And she says, "Tonight."

He asks, "So what do you call this then?"

She replies, "Love at first sight."

Dramatics (old)

Honey you needn't freak out on me,

I tried and tried to be the best I could be.

But oh no, that wasn't good enough for you,

And apparently there was nothing I could do.

Hey you, spreading rumors everywhere,

Whatever bitch, cause I don't even care.

Listen up, I hope you learned your lesson,

Cause you're the only player in this game of oppression.

Honey please, your words are too dramatic,

Put us both at ease and get some help, you fucking addict.

Unavailable (old)

You run after me,

Aware of all my faults, my fears.

I run from almost everything,

Always resulting in tears.

You're picking up my pieces,

Trying to carry me away.

But I'm so very stubborn,

And you leave me in dismay.

You may call me detached and unavailable,

But that's not how I see it.

I'm through with your controlling ways,

This relationship I finally quit.

Ayden (old)

We call him Buggy for no reason at all,

An enormous voice for someone so small.

Eyes that smile and surfer's blonde hair,

Grass stained clothing only a five-year-old would wear.

His infectious laugh causing me to cry,

Absolutely hilarious without having to try.

The oldest and youngest get along best, I guess,

Except in my room when he makes a huge mess.

My favorite being on this earth,

So lucky to know him since the day of his birth.

And there for him, I'll always be,

To love and hug and laugh with me.

Horror Movie (old)

The whistles and the catcalls

Are burning in her ears.

She pretends to not be listening,

But they are all she hears.

Now let's rewind to the beginning,

When this pretty girl met Him,

He'd been watching her for a while now.

Carefully planning his next sin.

One day he waits in the shadows

For his chance to capture her.

Then when she is finally close enough,

He jumps out and grabs her.

She tries to scream, "Let go of me!"

But nothing escapes through his hand.

She fights to get away once more,

He strikes her and to the ground she lands.

She wakes not knowing where she is,

And is terrified with fear.

He is now looking over her,

Heavy breathing is all she hears.

He rips her shirt and  grabs her breasts,

Then pulls down her jeans.

Forcing his naked body to hers,

Violently sobbing, she screams.

Denial (old)

When things do not go my way

And I feel so fake,

My body is the one who pays

While my soul does ache.

Round and round,

My head does a spin.

There's nothing to be found,

But an empty stomach and a fooling grin.

They say I have a problem,

And that I need to stop.

But I do not believe them,

Until to the floor, I drop.

A visit to the hospital is a wake up call.

But still I am denying,

So weak, I fall,

And wake up crying.

They watch me more carefully now,

But they can't always be there.

They say they understand. How?

They are not aware.

I still cannot comprehend,

What caused me to feel this pain?

The denial making my insides bend,

I'm still not quite the same.